Clingy, Attached, Jealous feeling ICKKKY

Ever have those feelings in your relationship? You know when you start to feel really attached, clingy..jealous of things that haven't happened! What an icky place to be in.
Ive caught myself lately feeling this way. Like my whole world should revolve around love, ,my relationship with my boyfriend, moving forward....,HOLD UP SLOW THE FUCK DOWN NAOMI.

This is not the person I am. I dont cling and get so attached it drives me nuts but here I am lately feeling that way. I caught myself though and hopefully putting an end to it. Haha.
I guess being with someone that doesn't have kids makes it a constant struggle. He doesn't have two kids constantly needing attention. He is free to himself. I don't have a clue what the hell I would be doing with my time if I were free to myself.

Things didn't go that way for me obviously.  I am not even sure I can imagine life that way. Where I would be if it were just Naomi to be worried about.
So anyway...obviously I have no reason or way to get out and meet a ton of people and flaunt my stuff and flirt with random people etc...I have out with kids all day. So, coming up with scenarios in my head about what my "free" boyfriend must be doing with his alone time is what I have caught myself doing. And UGH. CUT that SHIT out. I don't want to even go there.

If he is a scumbag that is off cheating, calling/texting girls etc...he will be exposed eventually right?

I am not sure why I always have such a hard time trusting people..but I have a feeling my past has a lot to do with it. People haven't exactly been so great to me before so I often think "Well he must be doing those things behind my back too"...which is a ridiculous thought process but it makes sense why I have my guard up.

Anyway...back to being clingy.
Asking your man 20 times a day what he's doing, why won't you text back...YUCK TO THE FUCKING YUCK.
Why in the world would a man want someone who is so dependent on them? I don't want to be that girl. I want to do me, and my kiddos, then make time for him.

I do know that I love my boyfriend and want things to be awesome, of course I want things to move forward...
But why not appreciate what is now, and let it be?
Telling myself that everyday.

Anyway...I am a weirdo. So what??

I love your face. Yes, you Naomi. The one who writes this, and the only one to read it.


Much love,

-No longer clingy ass bitch.

xoxoxoxoxo
Naomi